BREAKING: “X-Factor” Producers Make $15 Million Donation To Special Needs WomanMay 09
HOLLYWOOD, CA – According to reports, the producers of the reality talent show “The X-Factor” have made a generous $15 million pledge to a woman with special needs.
The woman, who goes by the name “Britnahhh,” was visibly excited when she heard the news, reportedly shouting “hooray! Juice boxes are on me, tonight, y’all! Mama’s a gajillionaire!”
According to eyewitnesses, she then did a 4-hour long “victory dance” in the middle of the crowded Wal-Mart, in which she spends her afternoons pretending she’s the store’s “mayor.”
A spokesman for “The X-Factor” was quoted as saying “every once in a while, we feel like we need to give back. This money was burning a hole in our pockets, so we figured, what the hell? Why not give it to that simpleton on TMZ who’s always walking barefoot through gas stations and flashing her naughty bits to anyone who will give her a Jumbo Jack?”
He then added “it feels really good to bring joy to somebody who is clearly suffering. Seriously. There has to be something wrong with her, right? Anyone? Is it just me? It can’t be just me.”